Social Website Identity Theft - actual case(s)

A coworker of mine shared with me three cases of identy theft that have happened to her over the last 5 years. In each case, someone stole her information or pictures. She has some great lessons learned. Enjoy.

Aly
My first encounter with online identiy theft was my sophmore year of college. I got a call from a friend of mine who found a profile on MySpace of a girl named Aly. This person had taken a number of my pictures and created a fake profile, including pictures of my family members. She had over 200 friends and was actively messaging people I had never met posing as "Aly." I reported the profile to MySpace and it was eventually removed.

Michelle
A few years later, my sister's friend had received a FaceBook friend request from a girl named Michelle using my picture. Michelle had used a picture of me from my sophmore year of college. That picture had not been posted on my profile for over a year. Since this girl blocked her full profile from people that she wasn't friends with, I never saw the rest of the profile. I reported the fake profile to FaceBook but it wasn't taken down until months later.

Noelle
A few weeks ago, I received a strange phone call on my company's main line from a man named John. He asked for me. He then asked me if the name "Noelle R." sounded familiar. I told him I hadn't heard the name before. He went on to explain that he lives in South Carolina and met a woman named Noelle online about a year ago in a chat room. He had been talking to her online and on the phone ever since. He recently grew suspicious of Noelle (for reasons he did not explain) so he started doing some research. She had told him that she attended the University of Minnesota so John called a few of the people he knew from that school (at this point John is probably crossing the line too). He asked them if they had ever heard of Noelle and sent them a picture Noelle had sent him of herself. They informed him that the woman in the picture was not Noelle, but was actually me. I also saw the picture and it was from a FaceBook album posted over five years ago. John had looked me up on LinkedIn and found out what company I worked for. He got the general contact information from our website and called. I apologized to John for the confusion but assured him that I was not Noelle. I later found out that Noelle admitted to John that she lied to him and that she had heard of me and found my pictures through a mutual friend. Because I had posted a picture of myself from Freshman year, a random man was able to track me down through other internet sites and was able to find out where I work and contact me directly.

Lessons Learned:
Even if you post pictures and remove them, that still gives people the opportunity to copy them and use them for their own benefit.

No matter how strict your privacy settings are, people can still find a way to access your information.

I am in my mid-twenties so I am aware of the scammers on social networking sites, but younger children are less likely to understand. That is why it is SO important that you, as a parent, are aware of what your child is doing on the internet. Better yet, don't allow them to access these Social Networking sites unless they are old enough to understand the dangers and consequences.

Never post personal information on a public profile - address, phone numbers, email address, etc.

Be open with your kids. Explain to them what the dangers are and why they shouldn't talk to strangers - even online.

The trouble with "Forwards"

Do you know what currently dominates my 11 year old's inbox? The "Forward". Yes, forwarded messages took over in less than a month of my kid getting an email address. The kids are crazy about forwarding messages. Most of them are harmless. All of them are totally stupid. However, some of them are downright bad.

Here is a recent one that my daughter got from one of her aquaintances (not a true friend, but someone she knows at school):

Watch top 50 ghetto names on youtube its hilarious!!!!! -- I'M GONNA GET A FLAT STOMACH! SO I CAN GET A BIKINI FOR ARIZONA DURING SPRING BREAK!~LOVE YA, MOLLY

Wow. 11 year old suburban kids innocently throwing around an email about "ghetto names". Sad really.

Here is another one (I highlighted the key parts):

DO NOT stop reading this or>>> something>>> bad>>> will>>> happen.0A>>> One day, Sarah was walking >>home from>>> school>>> when>>> her boyfriend drove by and >>honked at her>>> to>>> get>>> in.. She got in his car and he drove >>her>>> to>>> the>>> lake. Her boyfriend said he was >>going to>>> tell>>> her>>> something very important. Sarah>>> could>>> have>>> sworn>>> he was going to propose.. However, he>>> flicked her off, pushed her in the >>lake>>> and>>> yelled, 'I am>> > breaking up with you, you awful>>> ........!! I>>> hate>>> you and I think that maybe you >>should> &g t;> just end>>> your ............... life! DUMB>>> ............>>> .........!!!' He laughed and drove >>off.>>> It was>>> a>>> very cold day. Sarah climbed out >>of the>>> lake,>>> freezing>>> cold, and feeling the worst she>>> had in her>>> entire>>> life. She got home went in a hot >>bath,>>> and slit>>> her wrists and died in the bathtub.. >>Her>>> parents>>> yelled and screamed at her to get >>out> ;>> until>>> they>>> finally broke the door down. They >>saw no>>> body,>>> but the entire bathroom was >>dripping with>>> her>>> blood.>>> Her mom went insane and killed >>herself>>> three>>> days>>> later, her dad is in prison, accused>>> of>>> murder..>>> Later>>&g t; that week, Sarah's exboyfriend >>was>>> taking>>> a>>> shower>>> when she came from the drain, >>rotting>>> and>>> bloody,>>> with a razor in her hand and>>> said 'Goodbye>>> Jason.'>>> She cut his throat before he could>>> scream..>>> If you do not send this to 13 >>people>>> with the title '1>>> scary>>> way to>>> breakup', you are a heartless>>> ........................and Sarah will come >>for you in>>> the>>> shower>>> from the drain, and will kill you the>>> same>>> way>>> she>>> killed her boyfriend.>>> 24 ppl have broken this chain and >>died>>> You have 13 minutes*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> GO!!!

Can you believe this stuff? If your kids have email, they are getting hoards of this stuff every day. Make sure you are paying attention. There are ways to address this (which I will discuss in a later entry) but the first thing is to BE AWARE!

As far as I am concerned, "Forwards" have no place in our kids email boxes.

Getting an email address for a kid

I think there are many ways to pull off a "safe" email address for your kids. I researched a bunch of options, but liked gmail's "plus-addressing" the best.

The idea is to set up a gmail account (or even use your own existing gmail address) and use gmail's plus-addressing to create a dedicated account for your kids. The advantage is that you still have all the control and can set up filters.

So, if your last name is Smith, you could set up a new gmail address named smithkids@gmail.com. Then, for each of your kids, you can add them to the this account, like:

smithkids+john@gmail.com
smithkids+jane@gmail.com
smithkids+tommy@gmail.com

Here are the two links that give the best context:

http://lifehacker.com/235423/give-your-kids-personalized-gmail-addresses
http://flagrantdisregard.com/how-to-give-your-young-children-a-personalized-managed-email-address/

In our case, all the kids have email that comes into a single inbox using email addresses much like my examples above. I have set up filters and can view their inbox whenever I want. My kids know this and I sometimes look at it with them.

Plus, since, the other kids look at the same inbox, there is another level of accountability.

Check it out. It is working great for us so far!

Why do our kids need phones with text capability?

I guess I can understand giving a kid a cell phone. There have been times at our house when I wish my 11 year old had a phone. Like when she goes snowboarding, walks the dog, or meets her friend on the corner. But I haven't figured out why texting would ever be a requirement for a kid.

Just the other day, we celebrated our 11 year old's birthday. All her friends were dropped off at our house by parents who, for some reason, felt that their children needed to bring along their cell phone. You should have seen it. Right when they walked in, each girl was making calls to other friends. We even had at least one inter-house phone call!

And the texting! They were texting each other at the dinner table and in the car as we drove to our destination. Somewhat awkward, to say the least, for those that did not have phones. And totally annoying.

Finally, my wife put an end to it and told them all that they were no longer allowed to use their phones. I mean, you go to someone's house for a birthday party and call other people?! You text someone standing right next to you?!

Help me understand.

Just last summer I was at the park with my kids. Some older kids - maybe 14 years old - were at the park too. There were probably 5 of them; mostly harmless. Not punks or anything. It just struck me that they were not talking to each other. They were all sitting underneath the playground structure texting. In fact, after watching them for a while, I am fairly confident, based on their body language and laughter, that they were texting each other!

Now, I have texted people sitting next to me in a work meeting in order to be polite. I have IM'd someone at work 4 feet away from me while I am on the phone with someone else. But, c'mon!

So, do we really think that kids having the ability to text has any value? I just see stunted relationships and inability to communicate. What are the benefits? Someone help me understand.

In less than a year...

...my kids have gone from computer savants to internet gurus. Grooveshark, webkins, gmail, youtube, wikipedia, and google. They come home from school and check their email (which I set up for them) and video chat (with people I think I know) and work on school projects (at least, that is what they tell me), and surf. That's right, my 11 and 9 year olds are surfing the internet...and it scares me.

Look, I spend all day long in cyberspace. Between the 75-100 emails per day, countless blogs, LinkedIn, and wiki-searches, I, like most of us out there, have plenty of experience filtering through all the crap. All the nonsense that distracts me from my goals each day. I have a System Administrator at work who keeps my Inbox mostly free from spam. We have a firewall that blocks words in emails, .exe files, and certain websites. And, I have my conscience, which leverages the years of experience and advice to guide me through the myriad of internet and email garbage.

And then there are my daughters.

Young. Clueless. Naive. Savy. Vulnerable. And growing up way too fast. Not just because the clock is spinning like a fan. No, growing up too fast because information is flying at them at uncontrollable speeds.

Yeah yeah yeah. I know what you are thinking. Come out of the dark ages already, Jeff! Well, I have a word for you - No. No, I will not concede just yet. I think there is a time and a place for everything under heaven. And I don't think an 11 year old is mature enough to be trusted on-line. And yet, as far as I can tell, few parents are paying attention enough to garner an opinion on that. Few parents know how much time their kids are online. Heck, I have to force myself to pay attention; and I think I am intentional with my kids.

But I hear about it. I see the chat strings. I hear the comments in the carpools. These kids are getting exposed to things way too early. And, meanwhile, it's like a little secret that we don't want to ask our kids about. We hardly talk about it with other parents.

So, this blog is simply a running dialogue. I expect criticism. I expect some support too. But, in the end, I just want my kids to be safe and to experience life at an appropriate pace.